Singing a new tune

After much long research, I have come to the conclusion that girls don't fart as much because they don't close their mouths long enough to build the necessary pressure.

I just brushed my teeth.

Nursing Home Blues

Folks, y'all are great! Thanks for writing me letters, sending me things when I need them (ie. money, food, motorbike bill of sales), being good parents, and supporting me in all my endeavors. I hope you know that I love you and appreciate all that you do for all of us kids the married ones families. Just so you know, we will definately pick a great nursing home for ya! Just kiddin. Love ya!!

Happy Valentines Day!!! (An original poem by me)

Heidi and Laurie.
The best of friends.
Always so nice,
And never in depends. (the diapers)

They both play ball,
And they play real shwell.
Heidi had a great tackle
While Laurie rang the bell.

The Doctors in the house,
And they're both addicted.
You know where to find them;
Its the life of the restricted.

The "Green Tortilla"
And Whitey Tighty
Get them around
All high and mighty.

They're secret admirers
Think they're pretty hot,
And so we write poems
That we probably ought not.

Happy Valentines Day!
From all of us.
We hope your day
Is full of love!

the weekend adventure

We didn't make it Washington, but we defiantely learned some lessons. First of all, the church is great! We broke down in Deerlodge MT and had the pleasure of an enjoyable night at the branch presidents house. So to those we missed in Washington, sorry! Hope the blessing went well! And to those who helped us out, thank you soooo much!! The town of deerlodge on a friday night is one of the friendliest towns I've ever been too. Everybody was buying beer and soooo willing to help. It was great! A good experience, minus the $150.00 fix.

My Addictions

Anyone that knows me can attest that I am addicted to thrift stores. This summer in Alaska, we furnished our apartment off of thrift stores, and we did it quite cheap. Tonight, I will head to the thrift store. First place to go is the computer aisle. I don't know why, since I've never bought any computer parts there, but its just a good place to start. Then, its off to the Nintendo games, etc. I usually look through the movies while I'm there, and then head back to the yard. This is the best place to find golf clubs, bowling balls, bikes, tires, tools, etc. Then its off to the binders, the picture frames, the books, the glass cases, and then the ties. The ties are perhaps the main reason for the whole visit, although I will say that the inflation has taken its toll on my wallet. When the thrift store days originated in my life, ties were only $1.00. Now, you won't pay less than $3.00! Isn't that ridiculous? Anywho, the visit is finished off witha quick through of the shirts, pants and coats. Tonight, my quest is to find some new shirts to wear on dress up days. This might through the whole visit for a loop since I might go in reverse order. In any event, it will be an enjoyable fix to the addiction!
PS Washington, here I come!! (on friday that is)

The benefits of being a foreigner

Those of you from Canada, you ougtha know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the ability to get out of tickets! Now, I've had the occasional run in with cops in America. Lets just round to say 17 or 18 times that I've been pulled over. Tonight, thoguh, was a new experience.

It started out innocent enough. Myself, Aaron and Jory piled into the caprice to go to a wedding reception and then to sportsmans warehouse. The speedbumps across the street at the movie theatre looked so inviting afterwards that we decided we just had to hit them. As I tried to get a good bump out of the first one, I looked right and noticed a rent-a-cop. You know, the old guy in the late 80's model white car witha sherriffs badge painted on the door? The one thats a security guard, but thinks hes got actual power? Well, I figure he couldn't do anything, so I got set for the next speed bump. about that time I heard a little siren. I looked left this time and noticed another one staring me down. once again, I figured he couldn't do anything, so I lined up for the speedbump and nailed it! This rent-a-cop, obviousley irate that I would try such a thing on "his" turf, flipped a brody and started following me. As I put my seatbelt on, I wondered, what is this joker doing. About that time, he pulled out, passed and cut me off. Did he really think he could do anything? Kick me off the property, maybe. I've been to the theatre once in the three years that I've been here. Barring me from the property just didn't seem like an effective solution to me. He threatened me with probation, glared at me, and in the end walked away, cause there was really nothing he could do. It made for a good story to tell, about "The Night I Got Pulled Over By a Rent-A-Cop." Maybe it oughta be made into an opera or something eh?

What a Woman!!

As I pulled up to her house on my motorbike, I thought to myslef "Shoot, you smell like two stroke." I knocked on the door and entered the apartment to hear her ask "why do you smell like two stroke?" WOW! Need I say anymore? She knew the smell of two stroke!